Tag: Blogging

Taking Stock

121712_2256_BlamingViol2.jpgI started blogging on WordPress on the 21st of March 2012. I had been blogging on two other sites the previous year and felt I needed a change. WordPress had a lot to offer a novice like me, easy access to images that could be related to my blog and the ability to do “pingbacks” to other articles that were related by content. It also offered an increased readership, although I did not know that when I started out.

I’ve passed the 40,000 hit mark today and I’ve reached the 200 mark on followers (except when you back out the publicize numbers it’s still just under 200). To say that my blogging is exceeding my humble expectations is the understatement of the century. My goals, when I started blogging way back at the tail end of 2010 were two-fold. I wanted to get in the habit of writing daily and I wanted this writing to be a springboard of sorts. A springboard that might just propel me back on the track of writing fiction.

So far those goals have been met. I’ve written two pieces of “flash fiction” and finished a short story that I did the first draft of over ten years ago. I’ve uploaded these onto my blog for perusal from the community and as a signpost for myself. Just writing and uploading those three bits of work has proved to me that I can still do it and that my dream of publishing my first ever book, a collection of short stories, could be a very real possibility.

Of course I am working on the “no news is bad news” philosophy here. No one commented on my three fictional offerings in an actively negative way nor in a passive one; might I add. And I don’t think it has been because of a lack of input, my little blog has gotten over 2,200 comments on my 481 blog posts. Not too bad for a blog that has only really existed for ten months. Of course quite a few of my initial blog posts were re-hashes from my other sites. But it did not take long to get into the swing of doing multiple posts on any given day.

Blogging has really been a lifesaver for me. My last three years have been quite eventful and even traumatic at times and once was actually a life or death event. Despite taking more pain medication than “Carter’s got little pills” I’ve managed to get a post out every day; sometimes more. Blogging has allowed me to trot out a rusty seldom used vocabulary and writing skills that I had thought lost forever. My confidence grows with each post and I now look at the folder that’s labelled ‘Mike’s Writing’ with excitement and not a depressed sort of dread.

When I look back to my early years of attempting to write “grown-up” fiction and the first ever typewriter I used, I chuckle. I had a borrowed Underwood that required you to have Arnold Schwarzenegger fingers and it had a lazy t. I then saved up my pennies and bought the cheapest electric typewriter you could find, a Brother. The funny thing was as my equipment got upgraded, my input went down. I can recall my excitement when I got a Brother word processor. I wrote part of three short stories (one was almost a ‘novella) and that was it. I did not write anything else on it.

Life and it’s every day challenges (along with a marriage that required a lot more effort than it should have) was slowly killing anything resembling creativity in me. The short story The Haunted Pub Tour, I actually wrote the entire first draft at work and saved it on a floppy disc (a big one) that followed me on two successive moves. When we got our first home computer, the disc was too big and I had to hunt around for the printed copy so I could write a second draft.

I then put that particular story in my folder along with a screenplay and a myriad of short stories none of which had ever gone beyond the second draft stage. It was when my daughter Meg went to university and had to “blog” as part of the curriculum that I learned of this interesting medium. She used to complain bitterly about having to do them and that was the only reason I took notice. I thought to myself that these blog things must be terribly difficult for her to hate them so much. I did eventually learn that it was not the difficulty of the blog that she hated it was the very fact of it that irritated.

I investigated and decided that this blog thing might just be what I needed. For the record, my first blog post (posted in October 2010) consisted of  just two sentences; written after consuming a huge amount of beer. For posterity here it is:

I’m still coming to grips with all these internet phenomenon call social network sites.  Now I’m trying to learn about these Blog thingies…Why do I bother?? Cos it’s nice to learn new things!

As you can no doubt tell from the two (or three now I look at it a bit closer) sentences I was also trying to get to grips with social networking; a project that I am still working on.

So I’m going to raise my metaphorical glass high and toast firstly my followers and all those lovely people who have stopped by, pulled up a chair and had a look around. (I appreciate it more than you could possibly know) I’m also going to toast myself and my daughter; myself because without me, the blog would never be written and my daughter because she’s never stopped supporting me in my writing quest.

Cheers!

toast

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My Life in 2012: Rock on 2013…

I sit here with the silence of the house ticking like a murmuring death watch beetle and I rack my brain on what to blog about today. I’ve already cheated a bit by just posting my 2012 statistics up that WordPress so helpfully provided me with this morning and not wanting to be too lazy, I’ve decided that I need to do a “proper” post.

As usual, I do have a blog-post that I should do, that lovely chap Rich over at Sunday Night Blog has nominated me for the Super Sweet Blogging Award. I will do a proper thank you to Rich, but I wanted to do a link to his site just to show that I had noticed and do appreciate his thoughtful kindness.

But the silence surrounding me is a little un-nerving. Usually if I am alone in the house, I have the next door neighbour’s kid running up and down the stairs and across the first floor (that’s second floor to you relatives of Uncle Sam) in his concrete over-boots. His shoes must be made of concrete because he is a little teeny chap who cannot weigh more than a couple of stone (if that).

*a stone, by the way, equals 14 pounds*

And yet this one little chap sounds like a herd of elephants thundering in stampede across the floors and up and down the stairs whenever he is at home with Mum or Dad. The fact that the house next door is empty is a blessing, just one that I’ve only had the pleasure of when Meg and I first moved in here. And before you ask, yes we were here before the heavy footed neighbours.

Meg has gone off somewhere to celebrate the New Year with friends and I am left to my own devices. Re-reading this last bit makes me feel like I should be fiendishly rubbing my hands together whilst hatching some world dominating plot. But, no; this is me I’m talking about here. I have no immediate or long-term plans to take over the world. I have no wish to do so and, more importantly, do not have the capability to.

So I have reverted back to staring silently (there is that wonderful word again) around the living room and wondering if I really should think about taking down and packing up the Christmas decorations that were only put up on the 23rd of December or if I should get the Hoover out.

*again for those relatives of Uncle Sam, Hoover equals vacuum cleaner (which I’ve only now just discovered that I have been misspelling for a lot of years)*

I can never manage to look this happy when I Hoover…


Since cleaning up or pulling down decorations both require something resembling physical effort, I have decided that I will do neither. I will instead finish up this blog post, edit it and publish it. That is about as taxing as I want to be taxed. This being the last day of 2012, I don’t want to ruin it by being too over industrious. So instead, I’m going to reflect, only in the most broad terms possible, over my year.

My 2012.

The year  has been a very strange one.

It has been a year of injury, pain, surgery (times two) and rehabilitation; along with discovery and shocking revelations. It has also been a year where I have worked hardly at all. There are those I work with who would claim that I don’t work when I do show up, but that is another story. Counting the time before my work injury and the time I spent “returning to work” I have only been “at work” for just under two months this year.

But 2012 has also been a year of meeting new folks and making new friends, Marilyn, Gary and Tyson just to name a few. There are loads more friends that I’ve met via the auspices of WordPress and their wonderful blogging community. I have been blessed with support and well wishes from lots of you and that has helped me to get through the more “agonising” and maddening aspects of my year.

2012 is also the year that I finally realised that my daughter Meg was a grown up. She stepped up smartly to the plate, bat in hand and hit a home run with how she dealt with my near death and all the vagaries that went with it. She has also been there to help me deal with the work side of things and its ensuing trauma.

The most amusing aspect of this entire year (apart from the amount of time it took me to realise that I was having a heart attack while smoking three cigarettes and drinking two cups of coffee) is that I had my heart attack while I was returning to work. A scheme that allows you to increase your work week hours on a steadily increasing rise. Deliciously ironic.

When I was told I was going to receive an ill-health retirement certificate, apart from being shocked (I’d been told you had to be practically dead to get a medical retirement certificate, which is what an ill-health retirement is) I already felt that I’d pretty much already been retired for the whole damn year.

Of course that was on full pay. Now of course, when the dust settles, I’ll be on less money; a  lot less money. I am still reeling over the ill-health retirement deal and scrabbling around to find out what I am entitled to. When I called the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) the earliest they could see me was the 15th of January. Rather than panic, I’ve been doing the, “I’ll just ignore it and it’ll get sorted when it gets sorted,” approach.

I’ve not ignored it completely though. It interrupts my sleep on a regular basis in the form of disturbing dreams. The last of which had to do with living in the world’s largest cardboard box and getting into a tizzy about where all the furniture was going to go.

Photo courtesy of paksil.blogspot.com

It is nice to know that on the last day of 2012, I can take a break from spinning all those damn plates and not care when a few of them come crashing down to the ground. Like Scarlet O’Hara says, “Tomorrow is another day.” But in this instance tomorrow is not just another day, it’s another year. A year where my son is going to be marrying his beloved (lovely girl) and “good Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise” Meg and I will both be attending.

It is nice to have at least one thing to look forward to in the New Year.

Until then, or at least for the rest of today, I am going to put off doing anything that could possibly be related to work or industry. I’m going to procrastinate my way right up to the New Year.

I am going to leave you with Happy New Year Wishes just as soon as I’ve finished my cup of coffee.

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Spamglish…

We westerners love to make fun of foreigners who have difficulty with the English language. This “mickey-taking” (English slang for making fun of) does not limit itself to making fun of the Japanese’s confusion about English and its non-logical methods. Also known as Engrish, which to me sounds a little insulting; I have decided that in the world of blogging there is another kind of “Glish.”

Spamglish, like its distant cousin, Japanglish has the same illogical application of nouns, verbs, pronouns, subjects, adjectives and tenses. The notion that there is a world of blog writers who don’t have enough of a command of the English language to spam properly tickles me. So, in my mind at least, I’ve created a new sort of language. One that is spoken and written in Spamglish.

I don’t know if I’m just easily amused or if I have a “cracked” sense of humour; but, I just adore spam comments. You know the ones I mean. The ones that akismet take and put in their spam folder in order to show how good they are at protecting  your blog  from unwanted sales oriented spammers.

Most of them can make me laugh until I cry. They are truly hysterical. I know that a contributing factor is that the spam comes from countries where English isn’t even a second language and they have to rely on Google Translate or other similar programs.

A lot of the time these “spam” comments start with the words “Hi, I do believe your website has browser compatibility problems.” This statement or the not too dissimilar, “I see you are lacking some factors on your site'”  and the many variants of the same message make me groan and quickly empty my spam bin.

Some, though, are worth a read. They invariably make me laugh and wonder if the person writing the comment has editing problems or if they were inebriated or stoned while writing their “comments.”

Here are a few examples:

Excellent publish, very informative. I wonder why the other specialists of this sector do not understand this. You must continue your writing. I’m sure, you have a great readers’ base already!|What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help different customers like its helped me. Good job.

*This was from a Polish site…I think.*

your posts gives me motivation to keep on my intention to create a blog one day. thank you for all  

and

i didn’t even see something like this before because of the scarcity of this type of information *Portuguese*

分析的很透彻，很欣赏你的看法，学习了
*Now this one is Chinese (basic Han, whatever that is) and it translates to – Analysis is very thorough, appreciate your views, learning* amusingly the page view shows an advert for Babylon Translator something they did not bother to use.

I have had a lot of other amusing comments all by “sales sites” and they vary. Some start as a sort of mangled congratulatory message. For example: “I used to really like reading your blog but now not so much”. Another one is: “You used to be expert at this subject now I think don’t have enough knowledge.”

Of course the comments are amusing by themselves but the blog post that they appear on usually highlights the comedic element of the comments.

I would like to think that the problem is just translation, but after reading a few young people’s letters (where they use “text speak and spell”) and the horrendous sentence structure – I know, I’m no champ myself – I am beginning to believe that the art of communication via the written word is a dying art. It also appears to be contagious.

Some spammers though are trying to appear legitimate with the elegant and downright flattering tone of their comments. I actually got halfway through an entire paragraph of  praises when I realised that the comment was from a “sex aid” company. The blog post in question was one of my Quorn articles.

But my all time favourite has to be the last Portuguese comment I got today: haha! i agree with you! This was in reference to a book review I did on The Unlucky Lottery. This one at least “looked” like it could be a legitimate comment.

I guess that the more illiterate or garbled comments make me think of the character Manuel from Fawlty Towers (played to hilarious perfection by the English actor Andrew Sachs) whose attempts at communication in English were classic comedy. In my mind I see a score of Manuel’s all sitting in front of a laptop adding what they know are pertinent comments on blogs that they are attempting to spam.

Of course were it not for askimet and their wide spam catching net, most of these would be read anyway, but, because askimet have rounded all the “offending” spam into one easy to access folder it makes reading them less annoying and more entertaining.

Andrew Sachs as the lovable Manuel in Fawlty Towers.



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Blogger of the Year 2012 Nomination? Wow…

I’ve just been notified by Tyson over at Head In A Vice that he has nominated me (or more accurately my blog) for “Blog of the Year 2012” award. *again, just hear announcer Gary Owens (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In) saying the words quoted.*

Wow.

This has to be my favourite award nomination. Although it has a bittersweet tang to it, because Tyson also nominated Marilyn over at Serendipity and John over at WRITTEN IN BLOOD which are two of the nominees I would have chosen. Cue face palm.

I should quickly explain that the  nomination is my favourite not because of the award itself – which is grand, don’t get me wrong here – but because the “penalty” for accepting the award is that you have to pass it on to three more bloggers who deserve it. When I read the rules that Tyson provided I was surprised and pleased. I have explained before that I am basically a lazy person, hence the surprise and elation.

“What?” I asked myself. “No 50 interesting and fascinating facts about moi? No asking 50 interesting and fascinating questions of the 50 nominees you’ve chosen? And most important of all, no contacting 50 bloggers to let them know I’ve nominated them?” I did a little Snoopy happy dance (very little, I did just have a heart attack you know) and then sat and pondered who I could possibly chose.

I then realised that I could also nominate Marilyn and John as Tyson did. I did notice, when I re-read his nominating post, that several folks had nominated him for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Brilliant! Of course I would say that as I was one of the folks who nominated Tyson.

That still left the question of who should I nominate for the third and final nominee? As I poured the first cup of coffee down my parched throat, it came to me, Andy! Problem solved.

So in a nutshell, here are my three nominees for Blog of the Year 2012 – in no particular order:

andywatchesmovies

Serendipity

WRITTEN IN BLOOD

So there you have it. Of course I now have guilt issues about all the great bloggers I did not nominate. As Rex says in Toy Story, “Now I have guilt!” But in the nomination game someone is always left out, it is the nature of the beast. But my fellow bloggers, I will come back for you. Oh yes, sooner or later I’ll get another award and I’ll try to include those of you I’ve had to abandon in the past. Like Arnie in The Terminator or MacArthur in the Philippines, “I’ll be back.”

I am not new to guilt at any rate. I always feel very guilty when I don’t check the blogs I follow as often as I feel I should – daily, if I’m being honest, I write almost daily and should read daily as well – and I therefore don’t ‘like’ or comment enough either. I am pretty crap at admin to be honest and reading falls under admin. Not an excuse, friends and neighbours, just a fact. I am trying to do better.

So I’ll hang my head in shame at my poor admin skill and promise to do better in future.

Back to the award!

So guys, you’ve been nominated (a couple of you at least twice) so it’s your turn to enjoy this non-labour intensive award. Oh and Andy? I know you are on vacation dude so I’ll expect to hear from you a lot later about the award nomination.

In the spirit of the season, I’ll close by humming Rudolph the red-nosed Reindeer through my left nostril as I rap out Jingle Bells with my right index finger. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all.

While performing the above medley, I realised that I had not profusely thanked Tyson for his nomination, I mention it but I don’t actually thank him. So in an effort to rectify this horrendous faux pa I will thank him, “Thank you Tyson, very much,” and link to his site once more. And yes I have re-edited this “on-the-fly,” Mea Culpa!

112312_1726_Weebleswobb4.jpg

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The Very Inspiring Blogger Award; Happy Happy Joy Joy…

I owe a huge thank you (and a direct link back to his blog) to pikeknight, aka author Daniel Pike, for nominating me for the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award.” Oh and I need to mention that you need to hear the quote being said in a very loud announcer type voice.

I do love these awards and the spirit in which they are given. It is yet another award that lets the blogging world learn a bit more about the nominee and allows you to nominate other bloggers who are inspiring to you. I once read somewhere that the purpose of these type of awards are designed for the “under 200 followers” blogger in order to spread the word about their site and who the blogger is.

Whatever the reason, they are fun and a good way to interact with your existing followers and a way of showing them how much you appreciate their support. It is also a practically painless way to involve yourself with the blogging community. I’m not going to lie and say that they are completely painless. I go through an agony of indecision when I have to nominate other bloggers. I follow so many who follow me (and if I’m not following you, will you kindly point that out to me? My administrative skills are a bit on the sparse side).

Right, soap box bit over and now on to the RULES of receiving the award. *Hang on a minute, I hear you cry. There are rules?? The answer is yes, I’m afraid. Like life itself, there are no free lunches or free awards. A price must be paid. Sorry.*

The 5 rules are as follows:

1. Display the award logo on your blog. Check.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you. Double check.
3. State 7 things about yourself. This is a hard one please forgive me if I list things you know already.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them. This one is even harder! So hard to choose.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.
Amazingly this one can also be difficult.

And, as Jackie Gleason used to say, away we go.

7 things about me:

  1. I had a heart attack on the 30th of August this year. “All the King’s horses and all the Kings men” put me back together again, but, with a flawed aorta.
  2. My last ever cigarette was smoked on the 30th of August this year. Amazing how a little thing like a heart attack and emergency surgery will convince you to quit.
  3. Since I’ve stopped smoking I haven’t been tempted to have one, but, I do dream about smoking. Oh yes indeed, friends and neighbours, I dream smoke.
  4. I have a bit of a thing about cowboy boots and hats (western or otherwise) I own 8 pairs of boots and ten hats.
  5. After my emergency surgeries I now have more than 10 scars on my body. My daughter calls me Miles Quaritch.
  6. I have turned into a bit of a hypochondriac. Not surprising really after the last 4 months I’ve had.
  7. I have written ever since I was 11 years old. You’d think I would be better at it by now.

And the nominees are…

  1. SERENDIPITY
  2. Cinema Schminema
  3. Written in Blood
  4. Mad Ramblings and Assorted Musings
  5. ISSAC’S PICTURE CONCLUSIONS
  6. timneath
  7. Cinematic
  8. filmhipster
  9. Myfilmreviews
  10. Deep Red Rum
  11. MARKED MOVIES
  12. Tim’s Film Reviews
  13. Head In A Vice
  14. J.P.’s I’m Outta Here Movie Thoughts
  15. True Mister Six

Now as I start the long arduous task of notifying everyone that I nominated, I’ll apologise profusely for not nominating any of the other deserving blogs I follow. Maybe it they ever create an award that allows me to nominate hundreds of blogs, I can include everyone. I’d also like to thank the WordPress community and other folks, who have taken the time to not only blog, but to comment, like and follow my blog. Thanks. I’d also like to thank the WordPress staff for Freshly Pressing my blog post earlier this year (just a few days before my heart attack actually. Hmmmmm…) helping me to reach so many more people in the community. I am addicted to blogging and it’s nice to meet and interact with so many other folks who suffer the same addiction.

I’ll leave you with Ren and Stimpy’s Happy Happy Joy Joy as sung by Stinky Wizzleteats. Enjoy!


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