Jennifer Lawrence Nude-Gate Not Down to Apple Says Company

Jennifer Lawrence Nude-Gate Not Down to Apple Says Company

With all the fuss about Jennifer Lawrence and her “nude-gate” issues flooding the net, along with the other hacked celebs, Apple have come forward to say that the leak is not down to their company. Supposition early on in the whole Labor Day Weekend affair was that the culprit was iCloud or the Apple app “Find My Phone.”

Jennifer Lawrence Nudity iCloud and Apple Who is Zooming Who

Jennifer Lawrence Nudity iCloud and Apple Who is Zooming Who

While the current headlines are screaming about Jennifer Lawrence and her personal nudity being stolen from iCloud and the fact that Apple may not be safe as it should be, the big question here is, just who is zooming who. Points will be given for those who can spot the obvious pun in this thoughtful query. The business of stealing celebrity’s personal images is booming and while there are teens, prepubescent males and the older curiosity seeking man or woman who want to know just what Mary Elizabeth Winstead looks like in her birthday suit, hackers will attempt to provide.

Jennifer Lawrence Nudity iCloud and Apple Who is Zooming Who

Jennifer Lawrence Nudity iCloud and Apple Who is Zooming Who

While the current headlines are screaming about Jennifer Lawrence and her personal nudity being stolen from iCloud and the fact that Apple may not be safe as it should be, the big question here is, just who is zooming who. Points will be given for those who can spot the obvious pun in this thoughtful query. The business of stealing celebrity’s personal images is booming and while there are teens, prepubescent males and the older curiosity seeking man or woman who want to know just what Mary Elizabeth Winstead looks like in her birthday suit, hackers will attempt to provide.

This Week at the Movies, Yawn…

Okay.You can call me old, jaded, and down-right hard to impress, but… Looking at the selection of movies that IMDb is offering up on their homepage is pretty depressing.

Not to mention unimpressive.

First on the list of “Wait till you see this” is A Good Day to Die Hard. Now I will stand right up and say that, “Yes, I am a Bruce Willis fan-boy.” Since I first saw the guy in Moonlighting back in the day, I’ve been a devout fan. Hell, I even liked Hudson Hawk!

But Die Hard 5??

Come on!

Okay, it looks like we get to see the ever delectable, not to mention talented, Mary Elizabeth Winstead again as she reprises her role as John McClane‘s daughter. But seriously? What the hell is going on?

Is this Hollywoods answer to allegations of plagiarizing superior foreign films into homogenized and pasteurized remakes? It’s like the studios are saying, “See? We can do original films!”

Sorry guys, but another addition of an existing franchise aka sequel spawning series, is not original.  And can someone explain why “American as apple pie and three times as hard” John McClane is having to fight in Russia? Is it now in poor taste for him to fight terrorists in the USA? Or have we run out of cities that the great movie watching public care about?

Die Hard 4 aka Die Harder was the first time we got to see John as a father and ex-husband and (gasp) old guy. The film spent far too much time on the younger members of the cast and the “joke” of the “old guy” showing the youngsters how it was done pretty much got old after McClane took out the helicopter with a car.

I think we can assume (and yes, I know that makes an ass of u and me) that this latest version of McClane and family will be more of the same. My reaction? YAWN.

The second film being touted on page one is Iron Man 3. Robert Downey Jr’s latest offering as Tony Stark. The trailer looks interesting, but…was it all that long ago that we had Iron Man 2?  We won’t even mention Tony Stark’s appearance in Avengers Assemble. It’s another case of “let’s make more money while the audiences are still fresh from being impressed by the Avengers movie.

Okay, not quite as irritating as Die Hard 5, but it’s damn close.

Last on my list of yawn inducing movies is Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. And yes, I know it’s not on the home page of IMDb but I had to list it. I had to!

I could easily waste about a thousand words on the myriad of things wrong with this film. But I won’t. what I will do is ask that you watch the trailer and see if you have the same reaction to it that I did.

Now I won’t mention the fact that this is supposedly taking place in The Brother’s Grimm country (which was another so-so film about “real” fairy tales and the destruction of them) and that the two main protagonists are both speaking in broad American accents (one naturally and one, not so naturally) and that the weapons they use don’t fit into the fairy tale time period.

I won’t even mention that this is yet another variation of the “bad-ass” good guy wasting a villain with the obligatory wisecrack by said good guy or his companion.

What I will say, is that the film seems to have been aimed for the young teen market. Yet, the trailer is recommended for mature audiences. What the fudge?

I might find all the over-the-top blood and gore and the other CG created effects entertaining if I were about 12 years old, 13 at a stretch. But now? Uh, that would be a no.

I like movies that are escapist in nature. I always have. But come on guys, let’s try a little harder next time.

All right?

The Thing (2011)- A Prequel? Only at the End.

After putting it off far too long, I finally watched the “prequel re-make” of John Carpenter’s The Thing. At the end of the film I found myself asking only one question.

Why?

Now I will be the first to admit that Carpenter’s The Thing is itself a re-make. Christian Nyby and Howard Hawks first brought the film to the big screen in 1951. It featured James Arness (who does indeed look like a giant carrot as suggested by author Stephen King) heavily made up and very unfriendly. The creature is dispatched at the end of the film via an electric sidewalk.

John Carpenter re-imagined the film in 1982 and it became a classic. Brooding, suspenseful and menacing, it set the standard for economically telling a story and creating characters you could form a bond with. It was suitably scary with moments of genuine humour. In fact I would go as far as to suggest that Carpenter’s The Thing should be used as a template on how to make a good film. *I would also add  James Cameron’s Terminator 2 to that very short list*

Now we have the “prequel” The Thing 2011.  I will say that the special effects were beyond spectacular. Sadly, that is the  only good thing I can bring myself to say about the film. Despite the fact that the director and the producers set the pacing of the film at breakneck speed, I did not care about any of it.

The characters were not even two dimensional creations. They all appeared to be one dimensional filler. No one, apart from Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s character, had a clear cut “job” in the film.  Winstead was supposed to be the “heroine,” yet her character was so lacklustre and flat that I found myself not really caring whether she lived, died, or defeated the alien.

Every other character in the film seemed to be used to fill one or two functions. I can envision the director saying, “Right we need a large cast that an alien needs to chew through. We also need enough people that we can group one bunch as victims and one bunch as aliens. Since that really is all they are going to be doing, we won’t bother with giving them specific things to do in the film.”

Yes, the film did zoom along. Like a runaway train it sped to the conclusion, to it’s detriment.  The script had so many holes, gaps and glaring omissions that I am actually amazed that it managed to run for an entire 103 minutes. But, having said that, the film felt much longer.

I will say that the last bit of the film – the “teaser-like” flashes we the audience got intermixed with the end credits – did indeed fill the bill as a prequel. Sadly, it was really the only part of the film that I got anywhere near excited about.

So my final verdict about the film? Great FX! Mediocre characters and performances with the only real prequel being at the end of the film. I am so glad I did not see this at the cinema.

I would have asked for my money back.